Divorced but not dead, yet.

A Good Man Or A Man With A Good Check

In this week’s episode I share my journey to deciding what’s most important to me in my next partner. The fact that he’s a good man or that he can provide for me financially. Of course, in a fairytale you wouldn’t have to choose, but this is real life. If you are a successful woman, the number of men that are at your level financially is lower. We’ve been conditioned to think the most important role a man plays, in a relationship, is provider and that he has to provide more, or he is less then. During my dating process, I realized that good on paper doesn’t mean good for you. At the end of the day, finding someone who is loving, honest, kind, patient, considerate, etc. is more important and valuable than a man who can buy you expensive things. Although I would love both, a man that is good for my heart is more valuable than a man that’s good for my bank account.
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As mentioned in the episode
https://www.instagram.com/radiantsolbotanicals/profilecard/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Say It Loud - I’m Divorced And I’m Proud!

On this week’s episode I share my journey in letting go of the “shame” that we carry during the divorce process. What I’ve learned is a lot of the opinions we think people are going to have about us are our projected inner thoughts. I’m a failure, no one will want me, I’m going to negatively impact my kids. Let go of the BS! Making the decision to leave an unhealthy marriage took courage. You will soon realize that leaving your comfort zone was needed in order for you to grow into the amazing woman you are becoming. Even though divorce is tough and heartbreaking, there is a blessing in it. You become a better version of yourself through healing and growth. So say it loud, “I’m divorced, and I’m proud!”
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Coparenting With The Person You’re Healing From

In this week's episode I discuss the steps I took to co-parent with my ex while also healing from the pain of the divorce. I realized that emotionally disconnecting, establishing boundaries, effectively communicating, expressing my feelings in healthy ways and separating who he was as my spouse from who he was as a parent helped us have a respectful and productive co-parenting relationship. It took time and a lot of blow ups to get to where I am now, but by implementing those steps and giving myself grace, I’ve finally achieved a peaceful co-parenting relationship. While going through all the trials a divorce brings, remember it’s not about your ex, it’s about what’s best for your children.
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Post Divorce Glowup

In this week’s episode we discuss the need to not only evolve and grow mentally and emotionally, but physically as well. During the divorce process we spend a lot of time on our mental and emotional health. Once you’ve gone through your internal revolution, it’s time for your external renaissance ! Let’s start exercising, update our wardrobe and hair, and don’t forget to take care of those lady parts too lol. It’s time that externally you reflect the new amazing woman you’ve become internally. Let’s get to work and get to our Glow Up!
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Adapting to Sharing Custody

In this week’s episode I share my experience of coping with the fact that I would have to share custody of my child once I filed for divorce. As a working mom, I worried about the moments I would miss with my child once I went back to work. I never thought about missing moments because I would get divorced and have to share custody. The thought of missing even more time with my child left me full of sadness, anger and anxiety. In the beginning, I spent most of my time away from my son depressed, spending a lot of time in his room and going through pictures of him. After a while, I realized not only is this not healthy, but it’s a missed opportunity! I started to use my time away from my son to spend time getting to know myself. I began to embark on new hobbies and experience all the things I wanted to do before, but never had the free time. What started off feeling like a punishment turned into a blessing. I discovered having that time away to reenergize and rediscover myself allowed me to have a more balanced life.
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Fear of Failure and Rejection After Divorce

In this weeks episode I share how facing my fears of failure and rejection, by taking chances, allowed me to accomplish things I never thought I could. During my divorce I struggled most with feeling rejected and like a failure. The person I loved no longer wanted me and I couldn’t keep my family together. Through therapy and self reflection I finally understood that it’s not one persons responsibility to keep a marriage together and just because someone doesn’t see your value, doesn’t mean you’re not valuable! Those fears not only kept me in an unhealthy marriage, they kept me from trying new things and chasing my dreams. Once I made the toughest and scariest decision to file for divorce, I became a lot less fearful. I was able to launch this podcast, date for the first time as an adult, create a business , and create the life I deserve.
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As mentioned in this episode:
“Worthy” by Jamie Kern Lima

Situationships

On this week’s episode we discuss the pros and cons of “Situationships.” After jumping into the dating pond after divorce, I realized I wasn’t ready for the responsibility of a serious relationship. I wasn’t ready to share my space , introduce my child, fully open my heart, and I was enjoying the freedom that came with being single. I also knew that I wanted companionship without the added pressures a relationship brings. Basically, I wanted to have my cake and eat it too! I discovered having a situationship was the best solution for me. Remember that in this new chapter of your life you are the author. Don’t let others opinions or even what your Ex is doing influence how you approach dating and relationships. Whether you decide to have a situationship or fully committed relationship, the choice is yours.
Connect with me @divorcednotdeadyet on Instagram
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As mentioned in the podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dating-after-divorce/id1548625935?i=1000641146025

Waiting to Exhale

This week’s episode was inspired by the movie “Waiting to Exhale.” I share my experience in finally “Exhaling” and letting out all the pain and anger I had been holding in for so long. Going through the divorce process will test your character and your patience. There will be moments that you step outside of yourself and maybe behave in ways you never have. Whether it’s yelling your truth and standing your ground or burning your exes clothes in the front yard like Bernadette in “Waiting to Exhale”. That moment of I’ve had enough will come during the divorce process. My advice is to give yourself grace, learn from it, establish boundaries and try not to do anything that’s going to get you locked up lol.
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Don’t Get Dickmatized!

On this week’s episode I share my journey to and through getting dickmatized! Sex after divorce can be both scary and exciting. On my journey I fell hard and fast into the dicksand. After going so many years without having sex, once I started again I lost my sense of self and my focus. Feeling wanted and desired after the feelings of rejection that a divorce brings can be addicting. Creating that connection with the wrong person can lead to you over looking red flags and staying in a relationship with the wrong person, for the wrong reasons. Having amazing sex is not the problem. I wish that for all of us! However, loosing yourself and your focus in the process is not okay.
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Establishing A Relationship With Your Ex, Post Divorce

In this week’s episode I discuss establishing a relationship with my ex, post divorce. I know the idea of building a relationship with your Ex after fighting to get out of one seems crazy! I get it! Despite my own personal feelings, I decided that the best thing for our child and our family was to have a cordial and respectful relationship. It took some time and there were alot of bumps along the way, but we finally got there. It took me deciding what I wanted the relationship to look like, making sure we were on the same page, working on myself, and always remembering ‘it’s about my child and not me’.
Connect with me @divorcednotdeadyet
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